When adopting a drug exposed addicted baby there are many obstacles and challenges to overcome.
One, is hair. See, Lillie has a sensory issue. Her sensory issues among other things makes taking care of her hair nothing less than extremely frustrating on a daily basis, for both her and I. Lillie is also biracial and her hair texture is a good mix of both which has made finding the right products frustrating as well. Most days use to and still on occasions ends with being angry and frustrated and/or her screaming or me simply saying screw it I am not doing that hair today.
Now, this is not always the case anymore, as we have come a long way together and OT has been a life saver along with at home therapies. The days of scheduling a true hair appointment and enjoying the girl time are long gone. They have been replaced with moments when we drive by the Super Cuts and Lillie says "I want a haircut". When the boys joined the AFJROTC, we lived there. Lillie got to go with us when I took the boys (every 2 weeks) so she is familiar with the location and the people. The boys now drive themselves and she is not as exposed as she once was.
It is not often, only 2 times total to be exact in almost 4 years until Monday that she has allowed or wanted to get a haircut. Monday was the 3rd time. We drove by the Super Cuts on the way to running a errand and she decided she wanted a haircut. Knowing this opportunity doesn’t come along often I made a u-turn and altered my going home plans. Now it 8PM and most of you know kids need to be getting a bath and bed at that time. I chose to listen to her and honor her timing. We went in and there were 2 girls working, perfect I will get my hair cut too. It was quiet and the most motherly person got Lillie and she was awesome. Her son too has sensory issues, so she knew how to talk to Lillie and work very slow and communicate every step with her. I was able to get my hair cut too. Lillie and her lady along with me and mine were having fun, being silly talking back and forth to each other. Lillie was so big and brave and was completely across the aisle from me but where she could see me. Her lady was so funny and playful doing her hair. (reminder her hair is a process and takes time) This lady was amazing and just what Lillie (and I ) needed. My lady was sassy, funny, and really took the time to love on me too. We were all having a blast.
Then, THEN, you hear a man start yelling (click Read More to find out how this ends)
As he continues yelling at the working about how he checked in online and how he has waited for 20 minutes and the online check-in said 15 minutes and how it lies and how they should shut up and just cut hair and stop the bull*$#@ with “those” girls. It went on and on, but you get the point.
The old Tonya would have stood up explained to him all about Lillie etc. and how “he” should shut up etc. I didn’t. Why would I? Why would I give this man my energy, but more why would I spoil this moment for Lillie and for me. Or for those two ladies either. I let the one lady handle it and I took a deep breath and said timing is everything, it always is with Lillie. The look on her face and how the wind got out of her sail in that moment crushed me. As the lady and the man’s conversation was coming to a close I went over to Lillie and as I was shaking my wet half cut hair back and forth starting singing “girls just wanna have fun” and being all silly and all. She perked right up shaking her hair and being crazy too. The lady cutting her hair and then the one cutting mine came over and joined in.
See in that moment, that person could have spoiled it for Lillie, for me or even those 2 ladies. I chose a different way. I chose happiness.
I didn’t let whatever was going on in his life affect mine nor change the direction of my night.
Timing is everything! BTW, our hair looks amazing, we had a blast and the ladies thanked me.
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